I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
