Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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