you guys were way drunker than both of me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
