I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
