when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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