Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
