Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
