Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
