you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
