You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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