I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize