Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
how drunk are you?
Several
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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