it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
