So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
