that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize