I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize