I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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