I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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