..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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