morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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