just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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