Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
