Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
