Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
