I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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