ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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