you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
