WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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