he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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