He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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