I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
