You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Someone came in the potted fern
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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