I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
