I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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