I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Randomize
