We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
