yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
