he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize