I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
