at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think a kid would responsible me up
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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