woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
