my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she looked like the before picture.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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