uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
