OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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