home. puking in laundry basket.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize