Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
