true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I don't deserve a penis
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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