we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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