once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
