is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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