So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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