But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
