i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
