Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
