come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
