i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
