from now on my penis is your penis
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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