At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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