Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
