guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he thought i was a dude.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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