i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
