i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
