I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
