So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
