Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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